Ever since I was a tiny thing I watched people. I love people watching, I love people who love to watch people. People are absolutely fascinating.
I would be full of it if I said I didn’t notice what people wore, their style, their mannerisms, their confidence, and yes, their weight. There is a difference of course between noticing who someone is, and judging them because of who they are. If you watch hard enough, you can see the character in someone pretty easily. If you really know how to look for it, it shines bright as day. Character is something that you can’t hide. It is your love, your morality, your passion, and your wits. They who said never judge a book by its cover, never read any books. A bad cover says everything I need to know and more. This brings me to yesterday afternoon at 1:24pm.
You would think a coffee shop at the early afternoon wouldn’t be a prime spot to watch dating action but often a lot of “day dates” take place and I can’t help but watch. Sure, I am catching up on research and planning the rest of my day out, but come on, I am only human. So like any other day I sat there “working” and catching pieces of the conversation and happenings of the table next to me.
At this four top table sat two women and two guys. Based on their appearance I tagged them as all being in their 30’s. The guys looked as if they just stepped out of the “Office” and the girls were dressed to the brim with rocker “thrift” labels and bags the size of a 5th grader. Likely the combined tables music taste read like a who’s who of pitchfork magazine (or insert elitist indie rock review website here). Obviously the guys were having to slum it for the corporate “man” but worry not for them, in 10 years they will be running a cartoon website and sell t-shirts of states.
As the 4 of them sat there it became apparent that one of the guys/girl pair had made a match and the other had made an crash and burn. It was obvious that one was more shy than they other, that they needed a little opening up. Quickly to the rescue their friend makes an even more awkward conversation worse by suggesting the two sit closer together. If any of you ever saw this painful event happen across school cafeterias everywhere as a teenager then you know how horrible this is to watch. It is quite a boost though for the friend who is saying it isn’t it?
See while it may seem that this friend is just “trying to help” what this “friend” is really doing is demonstrating that they have a higher value than you. They are putting on the display that they are the “hot one”, that they are the “cool one.” This is the furthest thing from the truth because a good friend, a “cool one”, would never be that stupid and basically kill your chances of looking like you have value in front of your potential date. No, thanks to this friend the “shy” has gone to “mortified.” Just when I think it can’t get any worse, they pat on their friends stomach and say “He’s just shy cause he needs to lose a few, it’s okay dude, more to love!”
What a jackass.
You weren’t sure if it was the guy or girl till then were you? Doesn’t matter, story is true all around.
The guy that says this to his “buddy” is a twigg, no muscle, and could use to add a few pounds himself. Still he is flying high because he has his designated “fat friend” around to help him feel better about himself. He is always going to look like a better choice, and his false confidence plays as the real thing to those who don’t have a BS radar.
What can his buddy do? Sure he could get another friend, but if your out there my man I have a better suggestion. Take some of that muscle mass I saw on that frame of yours, knock some fat off of it, start lifting like a freaking god, and 6 months later give him a pat on the back and say “better luck next time” as you walk away with the prettiest girl in the room.
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